2016 has been a year full of movies; there are still many that I need to see, but out of the 83 2016 films that I have watched as of posting this countdown, I have compiled a best and worst list. More accurately, these are my favorites and least favorites, subjective and personal so my own tastes and experiences.
Note: since there are still many films that I need to see, this is Version 1 of my list, with Version 2 being posted on February 1st, and the final Version 3 being posted on February 25th. Without further adieu, here are my Dishonorable Mentions for Worst Films of the Year.
Central Intelligence was a lot of things, but intelligent not being one of them. Oh, and it wasn’t funny either. Kevin Hart plays a man who feels like he peaked in high school, with flashbacks cutting back and forth between his glory days, and the boring every-man he has become. In contrast, Dwayne Johnson‘s character was the kid that everybody made fun of, but has grown into an enormously muscular man with the same taste as a 14 year old girl. They are juxtaposed against each other as one man who hasn’t improved, and one who has excelled; the film tries to pull of a charming buddy-cop sort of thing, with one of them being “comically” reluctant, but it’s all silly. Johnson’s character is an annoying cartoon, and Hart’s character is at least level-headed but the sorts of situations that they find themselves in are ridiculous and unbelievable. I can stand an over-the-top comedy, but this was just stupid. Watch it for yourself, but I sure won’t again.
Miss Peregrine’s Home for Peculiar Children. As I mentioned in my last post, I’m not a fan of Tim Burton films, and this one falls in line with that as well. What I didn’t like about this film was not that it was simply Tim Burton, but that it was just bad. Every character in this movie belonged on a cancelled Cartoon Network TV show – especially Samuel L Jackson‘s. There is some sort of X-Men reminiscence going on, but with such a strange, distrubing, and overall just bland flavor to it. The acting by the young adult cast is goofy and fake, and the acting by the adult cast is so obnixious as well. The story about our main character who sneaks off to go to this other world adds some tension in his family, but it was so unnecessary and, in the end, becomes a loose thread that never gets tied. It’s a sloppy film, with the climax being dull and like an old video-game, and I didn’t enjoy watching this movie at all. But hey, you might!
The Secret Life of Pets. Read my review for this film here; this film is hardly representative of the secret life of pets. If there was such thing as a click-bait movie title, this would be it. This film is simply one strange day in the life of a certain pet; after watching this movie, it’s apparent that this doesn’t happen every day, and it becomes obvious that the entire gag (or even simply a “skit”) of “the secret life of pets” is simply every single thing we saw in the trailer. The trailer is what The Secret Life of Pets was supposed to be, and the rest of the 80 minutes of the runtime is just unfunny dialogue with obnoxious voice acting, but incredible animation. What we get instead is a Toy Story ripoff with an annoying cast of characters that comes in and goes out of the movie for just a few “jokes” that fall flat, and the rest of the characters who have their moments, but are just as uninteresting. Some people like this though, and don’t let me keep you from doing so!
Suicide Squad. Man, what a terrible bag of dicks this movie was. How in the hell did Warner Bros and DC decide to rush production so much to only give David Ayer 6 weeks to write a script before shooting? Not only that, but in order to give us a trailer by comic-con that the fans would love – and a lot of the scenes in the trailer didn’t even appear in the movie. Furthermore, following the lucky shit storm of Batman v Superman (lucky to barely not make this list), the studio goes back to reshoot, AND hire a trailer company to make the final edits of the film. The movie itself was garbage with the convoluted and dull story, irritating characters whose motivations don’t make sense, and the fact that this thing is one loud, ugly music video for 2 hours. This is a film for teenage boys and nobody else, especially not for people who respect comic-book movies and not getting fucked out of 8 bucks for a movie ticket. Oh, and that who “extended cut” on blu-ray is further thievery. DC needs to die. This one, I’m less okay with people being a fan of. But go for it.
Warcraft. This movie shows us yet again that video game movies don’t succeed, and I’m mad at this movie for doing so. Duncan Jones, the fantastic director of fantastic movies Moon and Source Code, gives us a even louder and dumber movie than Suicide Squad, with some of the most annoying live-action characters that I’ve seen in a fantasy film. Not even the lead actor seems to be wanting to do this film, and every other performance in here aside from maybe Paula Patton is over-the-top and goofy. The effects are great, so if you’re deaf, then I guess watch the movie and just ad-lib lines; it will probably be better like that. Trying to be The Lord of the Rings but failing to even be Eragon, Warcraft shows us that even a movie with potential and passion behind it can still fail. And it can also piss off video game fans who deserve at least one single good movie! Watch it if you like fantasy, or the original game, but don’t say that I didn’t warn you.
That’s all for the Honorable Mentions, head over to the next list in my countdown, Worst Films of 2016 10-6! As always, comment your thoughts, share if you liked this, and thanks for reading! See ya soon!